I’m a big fan of Dan Savage, here is a copy of the letter I just sent him:

For a lot of different reasons I started a new job recently. I started working as a Phone Sex Operator. I’ve been wanting to spend a lot of time at home, I consider myself to be incredibly sexually open minded, and am just kind of a sex geek so even if something is not a particular fetish of mine I have always enjoyed reading and learning about all sorts of different kinds of kinks and fetishes. Conversationally I’m good at thinking on my feel and knowing how to talk and relate to people. So, at this moment in my life I thought this could be a good job for me.

I have had a nice amount of calls so far not too many but I have definitely gotten my feet pretty wet, and I only have one issue, it has been a big problem for me emotionally, but I have to say intellectually I find it incredibly interesting. There are lots of things that have come up in this short time and few handfuls of calls. Lots of things that I don’t have any interest in myself, and some things that I think I can safely say I would never do (ie, shit play, etc) but I don’t have any kind of moral dilemma chatting with people about these things on the phone. Whatever floats your boat.

The only thing that has come up that causes a real issue for me are the pedophile calls. Now, I don’t even mean like some healthy age play, or barley legal, or even not legal but wants to talk about a 13 year old. It is the guys that want to talk about children, they want to talk about really young children. I almost think I would even have less of a problem with it if they wanted me to put on a childlike voice and play the kid that they were molesting (though, I’m sure that would feel creepy too), at least in that sense, I can think of it as two adults playing a game. We both are fully aware that we are of a legal age and are just pretending.

It is the guys that want me to be a pedophile too and we have conversations about what we would like to do to children or what we have done to children. Once you are on the phone with someone, it is kind of like you are on stage, your performing and you just turn off and do your job. But, when I think about some of the things that I have said during these calls, I don’t think I could ever repeat them to someone and still look them in the eye.

Now, I really do think that some people just have certain kinks that, okay you’ve got them and there is no getting around it or out of it, this is what gets you off. It makes me wonder at what point in time, what happens to someone that makes them a pedophile? I read a phone sex operator forum online where some of the girls were talking about this very issue and how they deal with is.

Cause, in phone sex it seems like (from my extremely limited experience thus far) you either get two types of callers. Either really lonely men who just want to talk to a woman (sometimes pretend you are boyfriend and girlfriend and not even have sex) just want to hear a woman’s voice while they masturbate. Then there are the guys that have kinks and fetishes that are either such a taboo or they FEEL like are such a taboo and so horrible that the only place you can really feel comfortable to confess it is to an anonymous voice on the other end of the phone.  So, that kid stuff does seem to pop up a little more often than I would like.

On this forum some of these woman have mentioned that even though they don’t like doing them they get a sense of relief from it. Cause they think that at least this way the guy is getting it out in a way that does not harm children. I mean if you think about it, even if you are a guy that has these feelings but would never actually act on them, calling a phone sex girl is even much better than looking at child porn. Looking at child porn is supporting that industry and somewhere down the line a child had to pose for those photos and was being hurt by that. So even if you don’t do it, supporting the porn is still actively hurting a child. With acting out these fantasies over the phone, you are not involving any children.

I’m sorry Dan. I don’t really know what my question is. Or maybe my question is one you just can’t answer for me. If you could tell me, “Absolutely, these man that you talk to would never touch a child and it is sad that they have this kink and are finding the best way possible to express it.” But no one can give me that assurance, no one can say for sure that maybe I’m not just feeding this in them, or encouraging them.

We write our own bios, etc for our characters, so in mine I have not mentioned anything to do with children, pedo fantasies or even age play to try and discourage the amount of calls I get like this. And that has helped a lot since I switched the bios for my girls (from the ones that were previously written when I started the job), but in the end, it is a job and once you are on the phone with them if that is what they want to talk about that is what we talk about. I know I wont be doing this job for every much longer, it was a in between thing while I figured out what I wanted to do next in my career. But, I guess if you could offer any thoughts or knowledge you have on this subject.

Thanks very much.